Empty Holder Hired Because He is Full of…

Ari L. NoonanBreaking News, OP-EDLeave a Comment

Mr. Holder. Photo: AP Photo/Charles Dharapak

Our failed state Legislature – stuck and bored, as many are in Sacramento – found its hollowed-out soulmate the other day.

The failed lawmakers – remember their last celebrated law? I don’t, either – hired the failed former U.S. attorney general, Eric (Empty) Holder, who couldn’t produce a single accomplishment in his six-year term except to talk about racial bias, presumably not his own.

This is the kind of cushy assignment, easy money Empty Holder had in mind when he grew his Charlie Chaplin moustache the other decade.

Your keenly responsible legislature and mine is handing the lazy bum $25,000 a month for each of the next three months. Bravely, Empty agreed to “work” between 1 and 40 hours every 30 days.

Don’t ask me why our taxes go up.

The legislature, not known for its forward or backward thinking, signed Empty Holder to protect them against President-elect Trump. Oooh, mommy, hold me tighter.

(The boys didn’t have to hire anyone to protect them against work-allergic President (I Love Me) Obama.  Barack never was in the office. He traveled. Said he wanted to get to know the world he was protecting us from. He ran out of time before he ran out of countries to visit.)

I digress.

Our largely unemployed Legislature is monopolized by hysterical Democrats. They believe all humans (except Republicans) are legal, even those who break into foreign countries.

Mr. Trump said foreigners who break-and-enter should be punished, that is, sent home.

Since Mr. Trump’s decisive victory two months ago, a flock of communities led on a leash by valueless libbies announced they would become sanctuary cities.

For the rest of their unnatural lives, these supposedly documented Democrats, led by slow-walking Senate Majority Leader Kevin (I Am Not Dumbed Down) DeLeon, have pledged to convert their communities into ramshackle shantytowns.

They will hide illegal aliens from the law, probably what their single mamas had in mind when the boys were practicing juvenile delinquency.

When people called to congratulate Empty on landing this odd plum, they were told he was not to be disturbed. He was sleeping. Why? He was anticipating taking on an invisible workload. And for such a darned noble cause.

This attests to Democrats’ No. 1 principle: “Only some laws should be followed. We will choose.”

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