Sizzling New Bestseller: Fifty Shades of Black

Ari L. NoonanOP-ED

Senator James Clyburn (D-SC). Photo: Reuters

By the darnedest coincidence, Eric Holder’s Justice Dept. announced late this afternoon it will file in the morning against a new upscale ice cream store in Ferguson.

Believed to be the first case of its kind, I wanted to relate this information before it melts. Seems the smart ice cream parlor has been stocking a disproportionate amount of vanilla, exacerbated by an insufficient supply of chocolate.

Strap yourself in before continuing.

As we have noted on several occasions, a brilliant bedrock chunk of Barack Obama’s winning strategy in 2008 was to assign every strand of criticism, from incidental onward, to inherent racism. Having evolved from a pampered kid to an eager victim, he would label all criticism of him as racist, a disease unavoidably born within the nasty soul of every whitewashed American.

Recruiting a partner was crucial – the lollipop liberal media, which is 98 percent of journalists.

Mr. Obama required and not only received 100 percent full-throated cooperation The Boys on the Bus, within months cowardly left-wing journalists s feared awesome blowback from Mr. Obama himself. They trembled at being called racist lackeys as much as they fear reprisals today from Muslim terrorists.

It became de rigueur that Mr. Obama and his intimate sycophants saw racism daily in every scenario they entered. If Mr. Holder had not filed at least three race-based lawsuits against unlucky white dudes before he finished his moustache shampoo every morning at 8, it was an odd day.

Mr. Obama coopted every sensational black-involved crime that toddled down the trolley tracks. Remember “if I had a son…”? Or the silly Prof. Henry Louis Gates fiasco?

Comes now a double illustration of how the Democrat party appeals to the crudest human denominator.

Prof. Dewayne Wickham Photo: Morgan State University

Prof. Dewayne Wickham Photo: Morgan State University

I give you journalism Prof. DeWayne (I See a Racist Behind Every Door) Wickham of Morgan State University, Baltimore, a black campus, and low-key U.S. Sen. James (Me, Too) Clyburn (D-S.C.).

Both should be driven to the town square, adorned in tall dunce caps, until they public apologize for committing their latest nonsensical act.

From Nancy Pelosi’s falling facelift to Chris Matthews’ imitation of a comatose amoeba, liberals have performed just the way you expect when you visit a Democrat zoo.

As proper contemporary liberals, Messrs. Wickham and Clyburn share an odiferous view of Jews.

They took laughable (if it were not so serious) umbrage at an incident that would make a child giggle at their unembarrassed ineptness.

So Prime Minister Netanyahu of Israel came to town the other day, as you may have heard.

Mr. Wickham, believed to be a black KKK leader off-stage, made the following deliberately ignorant observation yesterday in his weekly USA Today essay:

“On the eve of his ill-conceived address to a joint session of  Congress, Benjamin Netanyahu told a meeting of the American Israel Public Affairs Committee that he had come to Washington to make his case against Iran, not to disrespect President Obama.

“But he has managed to do just that. The Israeli prime minister’s decision to bypass the normal diplomatic protocol and accept a GOP invitation to address Congress today is an affront to America’s first black president.”

To write that with a straight finger takes powerful racial resolve.

However, Me, Too Clyburn wagered he top him:

Said Me: “This is a real in-your-face slap at the president, and black folks know it. He wouldn’t have done it to any other president.”

Me talks like the veep of the black KKK.

Mr. Netanyahu wanted to delay this speech about Israel’s fear of a nuclear Iran until a Bush was back in the White House, but his coalition urged him to talk now.