Tums Are for Somebody Else’s Tummy

Robert EbsenOP-EDLeave a Comment

Photo: Christine Elise McCarthy / https://delightfuldeliciousdelovelyblog.wordpress.com
Robert Ebsen

Robert Ebsen

I am lying in bed, dictating on my iPhone’s Notes app at 1:11 a.m. Thinking about the eggplant slices I had for dinner last night. Actually, I am wondering whether I will get indigestion and will have to grab the Tums in my nightstand drawer.

My eggplant memories go back several years to when I briefly enjoyed one of my favorite foods: Sliced eggplant, dipped in egg, coated with breadcrumbs, and fried.

I loved those eggplant slices, but they didn’t like me. I remember being up with my Tums at night thinking, “Is this worth it?” For awhile it was. After a few months, though, I gave it up.

Two weeks ago, my wife heard from a friend about baking eggplant slices. I could not believe it. There they were, not only tasting delicious, but slightly crunchy. It didn’t even matter that they weren’t breadcrumb–coated.

As I munched my first baked eggplant slice, I flashed back to those Tums-filled nights after lots of fried eggplant. I decided to eat just two slices per day. It worked. No Tums needed.

Back to last night. I decided to take a risk. I must have eaten 10 slices of baked eggplant with my pasta dinner.

Right now I am waiting for a bout of indigestion. If indigestion doesn’t come, does that mean I can increase my consumption of baked eggplant slices with impunity?

How many slices will I be able to consume without grabbing the Tums? 15? 20?

Now at 1:37, I am happy there is no indigestion. Yet. I will go back to sleep. I hope to dream about those mounds of sliced baked eggplant with tomorrow’s dinner.

Sweet dreams.

Mr. Ebsen may be contacted at robertebsen@hotmail.com

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