Alexandra Vaillancourt
Dateline Boston — I am a nanny in charge of a 6 ½-year-old girl and a 2-year-old boy. I love my job. It’s fun, entertaining, and never dull. Most of the time, I’m with my 2-year-old, Theo. I don’t need a gym membership — I run around constantly chasing after Theo, lugging the stroller up and down stairs, lifting him up and down several times a day. When he was younger, we would ask him, “Do you want me to hold you?” He associates the motion of picking up with one word, “Hold you.” That is how he lets us know he wants to be picked up. He doesn’t say, “Hold me.” He says, “Hold you!” Sometimes I do “hold you” with one arm, with a backpack on my back and a bag of various items in the other hand. My chiropractor isn’t thrilled, but what’s a nanny to do?
Life with a toddler is so much fun. Theo is a happy boy. He explores his world with such enthusiasm. Why can’t adults do that? When the train is coming, he’ll scream, “Train! Train! Train is coming!” After this winter, I’m sure most commuters would love to shout the same way, believe me. But we keep our feelings inside. Not Theo. He sings from his stroller, anything from Amazing Grace to Baa, Baa Black Sheep to Time Warp—yes, from the Rocky Horror Picture Show. He likes whatever we expose him to. There’s nothing like hearing a toddler shouting, “Let’s do the time warp agaaaaain!”
Theo really is into tools. He can name almost any tool you point out to him. His top three at the moment are screwdriver, drill, and hammer, with clamp gaining popularity. Every Tuesday we go to the hardware store to look at the tools. I discovered the cheapest toy known to humankind—bolts. Each week I pick a bolt, then Theo picks one, saying, “Imma have this one,” clutching it to his chest. Two bolts cost 50 cents.
We see tools and workers wherever we go. One day we were going for a walk, and Theo said, “Drill!” I pointed out that actually, it was a jackhammer he saw. Then I turned and saw a man holding a drill. Guys love to show off their tools to Theo. He’s made friends with the men who hang the town banners and fix the water fountains. We’ve learned a lot about maintenance. Did you know that the new playground sprinklers in Boston have winter heads and summer heads? They change them out twice a year. The water fountains have to be cleared out every day because kids put sand in them. The things we adults take for granted. Playground upkeep is a lot of work!
Not all of our day is fun and games. Theo has an alter ego we call Grayson. Grayson does naughty things. Last night I was running Theo’s bath, and Grayson, quick as a wink, threw two library books into the tub. He knows he’s not supposed to throw wooden toys in there, but no one ever said anything about library books! One of Grayson’s favorite things to say is “Poopy butt,” an expression he acquired from his older sister. It’s actually very cute when he says it, except when he’s supposed to be going down for a nap and inserts the phrase into his lullabies.
“Twinkle, twinkle, little…POOPY BUTT!” I have to turn around so he won’t see me laughing. The song that gets him to sleep every time is Amazing Grace, a beautiful hymn that is soulful. Grayson changed its meaning when he sang, “Amaaaaaazing POOPY BUTT!” It’s hard not to chuckle, because he gets all the notes right and just inserts new words. He’s quite musical.
Recently, plugs and outlets have been interesting. There is one outlet in the apartment that has lost its safety cover. Of course that is the one Grayson is attracted to. The other day he got the air popcorn popper out of the cabinet and started to walk out of the kitchen with it, towards the outlet. I said, “Ah, ah! Do not take that out of the kitchen!” Grayson’s reply? “Alex, go sit on the couch!” A day later, I uttered a phrase I never thought I’d say: “You do not put screws in your diaper!”
There’s nothing like being a nanny. You get to mother children and also get eight hours of sleep a night. When Theo runs to me for a good morning hug, I’ve completely forgotten that yesterday he carefully balanced himself so he was standing on top of the kitchen table, giving me a near heart attack. No, I’m never bored. I wonder what adventures we’ll have today?
Ms. Vaillancourt may be contacted at snobbyblog@gmail.com