Who says Christians are not lucky?
They are darned fortunate that history determined a few centuries ago that Christmas Trees grown to entertain good little boys and girls in the far off land of America would be green, not pink or robin-egg blue or fire-engine red.
Otherwise, those meddling liberals who live to form a snug circle with their hands around the necks of their fellow Americans, would have to declare traditional Christmas Trees outlawed in the name of environmental sensitivity.
Color Me Blue Over Green
We might even have punishment inflicted upon us by daffy Al Gore before he toddles off to Oslo on Monday evening to sit with a table phull of phellow phonies before accepting his ignoble Nobel Piece Prize.
If the Peace Prize winner can’t be President of the United States, at least he can morph into a politically correct, green-garbed Santa Claus.
Now I have spoiled Mr. Gore’s big surprise.
He will land in a sleigh on Culver City rooftops this month attired, burly belly and all, in a green Santa suit, traveling under the power of environmentally appropriate reindeer who, in the fashion of the day, expel “green”house gasses.
They Are Right, in a Way
In truth, I agree with the sensitivity of the Downtown Business Assn. and City Hall people who have gone to some trouble to make sure that the Christmas Tree that will be lighted tonight at 6 in Towne Plaza is green-efficient.
But, boys and girls.
Let us pretend for a few minutes that all of us are fairly serious grownups, not sterile, stiff-legged, empty-headed robots who are frozen-eyed, freeze-dried indentured servants to the liberal iconology of Political Correctness.
I may be wrong, but this is the first year I remember Culver City residents being told by the stoutly anti-religious Deathly Afraid to Offend crowd that they must call the 22-foot tree in front of The Culver Hotel a “Holiday Tree” not a Christmas Tree.
Let’s Have a Few Crucial Words
You say, “It’s only one word, and it only occurs once a year”?
Words are gold-level precious, dear reader.
They are the only tools we have to communicate with each other.
The Deathly Afraid to Offend crowd knows that words are precious. This is why, stealthily and practically overnight, they have completely overturned one of America’s most treasured and embedded traditions.
The Deathly Afraid to Offend crowd harangues, non-stop, against traditional types for trying to impose their will on others. They clatter so loudly and so distractingly that you are not supposed to notice that imposing their will is exactly what the politically correct clones do for a living.
Like a Disease, It Spread Everywhere
Think with me for just a moment.
Do you believe it is the most random of accidents, trickle-down culture as they say, that even in hamlets in Nebraska and Iowa — where culture never visits — the townsfolk call the Christmas symbol a “Holiday Tree”?
No.
Simple, working-class people in Nebraska and Iowa have become intimidated, too.
It was not a conspiracy but it was a carefully strategized Everyman kind of campaign that converted every state in the Union without a shot being fired, over barely a whimper of protest.
As we Jews say to Christians everywhere, Merry Christmas.