City Hall to Star Prep: Hit Me Again, Harder and Harder

Ari L. NoonanEditor's Essays

One of the enduring — and absolutely engrossing — enigmas in Culver City is City Hall’s spectacular lack of interest in the Star Prep Academy.

Please don’t mistake City Hall’s disappointing attitude for subtle goodwill. Nothing of the sort.

The still mysterious, tiny, imaginative — and allegedly not entirely honest — school, is filled with sweet, lovely adults and eager students.

Eyes wide open, it is making a four-boob chump of City Hall. Has, for years.

City Hall’s chicken-hearted response: “Hit me again. Hit me again, hard as you can.”

It seems obvious to me City Hall loves playing the role of stooge.

The alert activist Paul Ehrlich brought the latest hijinks by the Star Prep Academy to the community’s attention at last night’s City Council meeting.

He stirred curiosity in the beating hearts of some, but by no means all, Council members.

Finally, a Response

Vice Mayor Carol Gross asked staff to produce an update after she heard Mr. Ehrlich’s report. Ms. Gross is a nice lady who does not specialize in unending patience. Count on a staff update soon.

Whether it will be filled with mud and clouds — which is City Hall’s history with the Star Prep Academy — or useful data is not clear.

For several years, City Hall has told the community, in fairly straight-forward language, that Star Prep is a very low priority, so low City Hall may not do anything about the constantly-in-violation school for years to come.

From the City Attorney’s office on down, officials seem to keep hoping you and I will forget about it. Why? I have not found out. But I shall.

Will They Blow This Off, Too?

Mr. Ehrlich was almost red in the face when he stepped to the microphone, exclaiming about the “chutzpah” of Star Prep officials.

Here is what has ignited the latest firestorm that the unmotivated men and women in City Hall industriously — if they will pardon the pun — probably will try to shrug off one more time.

Who studies Planning Commission agendas? Mr. Ehrlich, thankfully.

He noted that Star Prep was on tomorrow night’s agenda with regard to gaining first-time access to the adjacent and truck-busy parking lot.

Chutzpah in Action

Mr. Ehrlich thought that was kind of brassy of Star Prep since, he reported, the school has not fulfilled its latest round of regulatory requirements to City Hall.

He says fulfillment is three months late. He says City Hall is standing there with a moon face, doing nothing about it. He is correct.

As you may know, ever since Star Prep’s existence in the Star Eco Station building it shares with the manufacturing company Moldex accidentally was discovered several years ago, it has been out of compliance with the city.

Surely, Star Prep is not alone in committing this municipal sin, which has several discouraging components.

Make Room for Excuses

Star Prep keeps promising to get into compliance, but a darned dog keeps eating their homework. Nothing happens. They have more excuses and perfectly rational-sounding explanations for failing to come up to standards than any ex-wife of mine.

The Jefferson Boulevard neighborhood long was zoned “industrial.’ To everyone except the inalert at City Hall and the people of Star Prep, this means you may not operate a school on the premises.

They are operating the school anyway. Instead of Star Prep winking at City Hall, City Hall is winking at the school.

Whoa, Boys

Unsurprisingly, it turns out that the industrial company Moldex objected, vehemently, to Star Prep gaining leverage over a parking lot that does not belong to the school.

Moldex voiced its objection to the long, longtime landlord who had originally given his approval to Star Prep to go to the Planning Commission.

When Moldex revolted, the landlord withdrew his consent, jeopardizing Star Prep’s parking lot scheme.

This seamy-sided story looks even dingier when you know that the school apparently tiptoed into Culver City without City Hall’s knowledge.

Let Us Share the Blame

On the other hand, when City Hall spends all of its time at the wheel snoring, how can you get too upset with the people of Star Prep?

By its own sloppy, questionable hand, City Hall has cooked a mess, and it will be fascinating watching the responsible people shift the blame all the way across the room — through an open window, down onto the muddy ground. Again.