The Times, They Aren’t a Changin’, for L.A. Times, N.Y. Times

Ari L. NoonanEditor's Essays

Davy Maharaj, the cowardly News editor of the cowardly Los Angeles Times, pulled on his favorite frilly pink panties yesterday, swished from the water fountain to his desk, cogitated for one predictable moment and reached an unstartling decision.

Glancing groundward to determine if his girly pink sox were drawn up snugly, he worriedly declared that one of America’s most cowardly newspapers would continue to burp, shake and wobble  at the prospect of offending Muslims, the lousy ones with guns and the good ones hiding deep underground for the rest of their feared lives.

“The Times,” Davy warbled, “will not print the cartoons that led to the massacre of 12 at Charlie Hebdo by militants of unknown origin. By jove, we believe in manly freedom of expression. We also believe in not offending Muslims. Other religions, not so much.”

Plainly, Davy Maharaj ain’t no latter day Davey Crockett. Crockett had courage.

When the lead coward adjusted his frillies, crossed his legs and sat down, cheering fled across the Times newsroom as if still another Lutheran or Presbyterian or Methodist terrorist were running around with loaded bazookas under each arm.

The sissy-boys at The New York Times and the sissy-boys at the Los Angeles Times, quivering as if they were standing outdoors in Anchorage in their BVDs. At their next hen party, these mountains of manly mush will regale bored audiences with how they have stood up again and again – to Republicans.

In this morning’s editorials, the sissy-boys at both Timeses nervously keep trying to straight out their filly wear while fruitlessly trying to memorize the floor instead of conducting themselves as responsible journalists. Like a post-lobotomy victim, the sissy-boys cannot make their fingers write the phrase “Muslim terrorists.”  Look it up.

As lifetime liberal cowards, they decline to assign specific blame, in spite of the thousands of Muslim terrorist attacks.

They take the cowardly stance that “Hey, pal, random. Stuff happens. Yesterday’s massacre could happen to anyone.”

In Los Angeles, inept Davy Maharaj’s team, scared barren of offending Muslims, coined this contradictory He Did It, Too, line from your childhood:

“Yet the impulse to punish or censor free speech isn’t unique to Muslims. In the past, Christians also have used the law to punish irreverence.”

Davy, the Muslim killers used guns not the law.

The New York Times’s editorial produced this illogical dazzler:

“This is also no time for peddlers of xenophobia to try to smear all Muslims with a terrorist brush.”

Usually, liberal reasoning makes us laugh. Today they make us weep, in pity.