Where Were You When It Counted?

Before lathering Mr. Bubar’s round, bewhiskered face with too much uncharacteristic praise, climb aboard, dear reader, and let’s ride a rocket ship back to reality. The truth is, Mr. Bubar’s salivation into the wind to slow down Mayor Wrong’s freight train should not be interpreted as a courageous gesture. Judging by his years of experience on the Culver City School Board, Mr. Bubar and the concept of candor are not even on speaking terms, let alone friendly. The big red S on Mr. Bubar’s shirt must stand for “Stew.” It certainly does not stand for Superman. If only Mr. Bubar were as clear thinking, as direct, as succinct, as forthcoming when he performs as Rhetorician in Chief of the School Board. Mr. Bubar is a gentleman of charm. Frankly, charmers seldom are hailed for their frankness. Last month’s stealthy attempt to apparently oust School Board President Saundra Davis during the second half of her one-year term was one of the shabbier stunts this Board has pulled. One must be careful, however, when one suggests “shabbiest” because it has stiff competition in recent Board history. It isn’t a cheap metaphor to talk about the members of the School Board turning out the lights and meeting in a huddled posture under a desk.

Serving up One to Skeptics

If you think that is hyperbolic, why did Mr. Bubar write about Mayor Wrong when a much hotter issue is boiling at home? Mr. Bubar’s essay in the Culver City Star was, I emphasize, well-written, well-reasoned. I, however, would have urged Mr. Bubar to write an essay on “School Board Stunts I Have Known.” Let’s review the drill once more. Elaborately, while walking around on tippy-toe, the four members of the School Board not named Davis evidently agreed this would be a juicy time to hush-hushly insert six wee little lines into their Policy Manual that say an officer of the Board can be ousted without cause. But don’t tell anybody because we don’t want to attract attention. Now it just so happens, by the darnedest coincidence, that this particular policy is to be drawn up during the tenure of the Member of the School Board Least Liked by Her Colleagues. Only a coincidence, you understand. The same way that John W. Booth just happened to be in Washington D.C., at Ford’s Theater, the night Mr. Lincoln was torturously assassinated. Mr. Bubar’s time and space would have been more valuably invested if only he had shined a light on the School Board’s most recent pretzel-twisting. Instead, Mr. Bubar swung his chin skyward. Far from addressing the issue that is riveting the School Board at the moment, Mr. Bubar, almost dismissively, identified himself in the essay as “a school board member in a smaller district.” Check it out, Murgatryd. Maybe this fellow is a teaching transient from Topeka or Trenton or even Toledo.