How Can You Tell a Liberal?
She is mad because she was not born white. She is mad when other people don’t see her pity-targets as victims. She is mad when people don’t see her for what she is (I being an exception). A few weeks ago, she essayed an obnoxious rant in The Jewish Journal because when she walked into a liberal (naturally) synagogue she was not recognized as a Jew. Ms. Mad also is mad because she has grown up into one of those sudsy-minded, sour-faced libs who are ordered by their puppeteers to be mad at everyone so people will know she is a gen-you-wine liberal. Being a liberal, her thinking runs to the muddled side. She appears to believe that if you were born with a skin color other than white, you don’t have to practice accountability. Better, you don’t even have to learn how to spell it, which pretty much covers the life span of the little lady’s favorite pity-targets.
One Pound of Bologna, Please
Ms. Aubry Kaplan’s newest rant concerns high school exit exams and how unfair they are for lazy students. Well, that was not exactly the way she phrased it. But let us not dally. As a stout defender of the underworked, whom she believes are overblamed, Ms. Aubry Kaplan backs up the bologna truck and starts unloading on her audience. Eschewing a reasoned argument, she prefers to swim in the soothing pool of victimology. As a true libber, she is not exactly happy and not exactly sad that an Oakland judge has scrubbed the high school exit exam (well, there’s another surprise from the seat of American intellectualism). She feels, well, the way her fellow libs feel about the color gray. It’s not exactly light. It’s not exactly dark. She’s one of those tough-minded broads.
In the absence of evidence that even a kangaroo court would reject, Ms. Aubry Kaplan launches into her argument with several words lifted from Every Good Lib’s Creed. She points out that three years ago “the Coalition for Educational Justice and other grass-roots activist groups successfully lobbied school districts to postpone the test.” Whenever you hear a lib utter “coalition,” “justice” or “grass-roots activist groups,” duck fast so the bologna doesn’t strike you in the face. Those are the first five words listed in the “Liberal Dictionary for Libs Who May (or May Not)(or Actually May) Want to Spell Words This Way.” The five buzz words mean the emotional lib speaker is about to cry. This will be followed by the deftly reasoned phrase “we are victims again.”
The remarkable point that Ms. Aubry Kaplan makes in her latest commentary is that — you are not going to believe this — she has no point. She is the little girl sitting on a curb, wailing away because the scoop of ice cream from her sugar cone fell into the gutter when she turned it upside down. She stomps her feet. She shakes her head, and she cries, again, to win sympathy because it always works. Ms. Aubry Kaplan’s no-kidding conclusion is that the whole darned public school system is rotten to the core. Bereft of ideas for fixing it when she is addressing the largest audience of news-seekers in Los Angeles, Ms. Aubry Kaplan buckles under the heat and drops to the ground. She could not conjure up one single suggestion. Any dufus can rant. But it takes a serious dufus to produce at least one sober idea. Ms. Aubry Kaplan is perfectly welcome to object to the high school. But when her only response is to stomp her foot and cry out, “Because, just because,” then I am sorry. I cannot take you seriously. She notes that seventy percent of LAUSD students are Latino, ten percent are black. They are failing school generally and the high school exit exams particularly in monster numbers. Staggering to make at least one faint point before leaving the stage, she seemed to be saying that since most LAUSD students no longer are white, we should do away with this nonsense of 3 and 3 being 6. We could go to a color-coded system. By Ms. A.K.’s curious reasoning, 3 and 3 could be 7 for Hispanics, 3 and 3 could be 5 for blacks — unless the teacher was white. Then, in the liberal tradition, the total could be whatever you want it to be.
