Student Whacked. Prof. Confusion Goes Free

Ari L. NoonanBreaking News, OP-EDLeave a Comment

As normal Americans know, G-d gave us liberals to act as foils for our mindless entertainment moments long before SNL became a twinkle in Putin’s glass eye.

Crude liberals planted their booted feet on the necks of college profs and kids a century ago, and they have not relented.

We were harshly reminded again this week.

Swaggering and liberal, Orange Coast College, nesting place for furry and human squirrels, spit into the eye of its most hated student the other day.

In the freedom-loathing 20-minute-old liberal academic tradition of random fairness, OCC banned 19-year-old Caleb O’Neil, conservative, from its almost hallowed campus for the next two semesters.

For secretly videotaping a vicious, confused elderly professor after she went bombastic following the election of President Trump, Mr. O’Neil has been ordered to

  • Write a letter of apology,
  • Write a three-page, double-spaced essay describing said left-wing crime and
  • To lick the jackboots of the first 5½ professors he sees when he returns to the libbie Orange Coast campus. (Just kidding about the last part, although Mr. O’Neil will be permitted to perform the act if he feels a further need to cleanse himself.)

The prof presented herself with a bravery award for surviving a class with a single conservative student.

The gay Prof. Confusion goes by four names, three sets of ethics codes and has no detectable moral compass.

She may have noticeably dampened her shirt when she went on her gaseous explosion – climate change be darned.

Striking a balanced tilt to the loony left, Prof. C sputtered to her most gullible students that she was frightened by the election of Mr. Trump.

Fittingly – or not – Prof. Confusion teaches three human sexuality classes, although it is not known if she is for or against.

She said her extremely mature outburst was intended to comfort the sensitive students  offended by Mr. Trump’s triumph.

She also offered succor to students who felt discriminated against.

Because of a pressing mental rummage sale, Prof. Confusion – unpunished for her naked classroom slants — declined to say why.

There Now, Children

Soothing the easily offended feelings of Democrat students is new. When President McKinley defeated William Jennings Bryan in the 1900 election, my seventh grade teacher, salving the wounds of her Democrat students, shouted “Live with it!” and abruptly changed the subject.

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