First of two parts. 

Mitch Englander, who seems to regard himself as an unfairly underpublicized member of the Los Angeles City Council, has found a way – Lawdy, Lawdy, rescue us — to cure what ails his mind:

As a liberal who sways when the wind blows at least 1 mile an hour, Mr. Englander is promoting Indigenous Peoples Day to replace the disgusting October holiday of Columbus Day.

Do I hear a war whoop from the audience? Or at least support for a tomahawk-throwing contest?

If Mr. Englander’s overheated notion is passed by the cerebral champs on the City Council, does this mean that the capital of Ohio will have to change its name to Indigenous, Ohio?

Should Ohio State University change its name to Indian State University, not to be confused with Indiana State University? Would it be cleaner for Ohio State to morph into Savage U. or Scalp ‘Em Tech?

Can’t you imagine asking your spouse, “Darling, what are your plans for Indigenous Peoples Day?”

Speaking of liberals who jiggle above their shoulders when they walk, let us not overlook the mentally marginal Sen. Lizzy Warren (D-MA). In her nutty professor days, as she waltzed from campus to campus, she claimed she should be hired as an affirmative action case because, ahem, Loose-change Lizzy is a minority, a liberal euphemism for “I, victim, and ain’t it sweet?”

Absent proof, Lizzy the Would-de Squaw claims to be 1/64th Indian.

Which brings us to last week’s saddest story after the latest Muslim jihad against normal people –

When a judge ruled that 6-year-old Lexi Page must be snatched from her loving Santa Clarita foster family. Like day-old trash, the judge dumped Lexi into a household of Indian strangers in Utah because she is 1/64th Choctaw Indian. Shoot, I used to be a Cleveland Indian. Good thing my parents didn’t tell anybody. As a ticket-scalper, I might have been forced to go on the warpath.

(To be continued)