Dateline Jerusalem — In a month I will have been living in Israel for nine years. Life is definitely interesting, so different from the comfortable, carefree life I had in the States. Despite travails of daily life, my experiences have been mostly positive. Like having a baby. When you go through labor and/or a c-section, you experience pain momentarily. Somehow after that precious baby is born, you forget the hardship. You cannot wait to have another wonderful child. I cannot imagine living a fuller or more rewarding life than that in Israel. Let’s go down memory lane. Join me in reminiscing about my first couple of years in this wonderful country.
Despite the occasional trek to shelter when t rockets are launched from Hamas in Gaza, Israel is relatively safe. Where else can women walk late at night and not worry about rapes and molestations? Where can children can play in parks by themselves without parental supervision? Where else do strangers wish you “Shabbat shalom” when passing on the street or invite you to dinner at their home after knowing you only a few minutes? Where else can you feel safe to go to a stranger’s home? Only in Israel.
Israel rates as the fourth best place in the world for raising children. Most Israelis will tell you how happy they are in Israel. No wonder, according to the World Happiness Index Report, Israel ranks 11th out of 157 countries in happiness. It ranked higher than the United States, United Kingdom, France and Italy.
On Being Aggressive
Israelis are often compared to the sabra fruit prickly pear. Native born Israelis are referred to as sabras. Both the fruit and the people are known to be tough on the outside and sweet on the inside. When I first came to Israel there was an advertisement for services on how to learn to be Israeli. This included “heightened aggressiveness” and “getting around without feeling sorry for yourself.” Israelis seem to be proud of their macho, their rudeness, their audacity, their chutzpah. Definition of chutzpah: A child kills his parents and begs the court for mercy and leniency because he is an orphan. No one in Israel wants to be a “fryer,” a person who is naïve, a sucker. So they go out of their way to be prickly.
When I arrived, I was referred to as “such a pleasant person” by my counselor at the Ministry of Absorption. A clerk at city hall told me I was “too nice.” Another said, “are you for real?” She told me I would not make it in Israel. Many Israeli friends advised me to change my mentality, that I must do things the Israeli way, whatever that means. I tried to become more aggressive. When I stand in line for a bus, I do not push or shove anyone out of the way, but I do not let anyone get in front of me. I just move my body in position, which is easy to do when one is my size, and I spread my wings (elbows).
I Am Stronger Now
Although I stand up for myself when impatient people decide to cut in line or ignore lines and go directly to the teller or clerk by bypassing the rest of us who wait for our number to be called, I often decide it is better to prevent a balagan, a messy situation. When I went to the local national insurance office, similar to Social Security in the States, I was given a time-stamped numbered ticket. I was waiting for the person before me to finish. The next thing I knew I was being elbowed by an elderly woman who told me she was next. I showed her my numbered ticket. She went into her handbag and pulled out several tickets, looking for one with a lower number! Interesting. Although she came up with a lower number, it was time-stamped after my time. That was because the dates were different! At that point I decided to remain a fryer and avoid being further assaulted by this old lady. Unfortunately in Israel sometimes it pays to be aggressive, pushing and elbowing, yelling louder than anyone else.
Most of the time people have hearts of gold. Once I lost my cell phone. I did not know what to do. The local florist must have seen my distress. He stepped outside his shop. He offered to call my cell phone from his shop phone. A woman answered and said she found it and sent her brother on his bicycle to deliver my phone to me. He refused to accept any payment or reward. I have since used that florist. Often he leaves his shop unattended to carry plants to my apartment. On another occasion, I bought a large screen digital television at the pharmacy. The pharmacist delivered and set it up free of charge during his lunch hour! Often store employees will voluntarily carry my packages throughout the mall and flag down a taxi for me. They refuse to take a tip. It is so commonplace not to tip taxi drivers in Israel that many refuse tips when offered them. It is amazing how people turn down money here! Of course, people are that way, not banks. Banks charge for deposits as well as withdrawals.
It has been great living in Israel. I highly recommend it.
L’hitraot. Shachar